How to Stop Being a Doormat at Work - The Muse

How to Stop Being a Doormat at Work - The MuseHow to Stop Being a Doormat at Work A contributing employee. A strong team player. A go-getter.Yes, theyre all positive and desirable qualities- particularly in a work setting. In fact, theyre all things that employers actively look for when combing through candidates for a position.But, we all know theres a line here, and its all too easy to cross. Suddenly, you transition from being seen as helpful and supportive to being viewed as your offices resident pushover. Instead of feeling like youre offering significant value, you find yourself with everyone elses busy work piled on your own desk. You want to be accommodating and cooperative, but ideally you could do that without opening up an invitation to be walked all over.I know that this can be a fine line to tow. Believe me, Ive been there. But, its manageable Here are four tips to successfully walk that tightrope between being a doer and a total doormat. 1. Know Your Own Responsibilitie sWhen youre on the clock, whats your main responsibility? To get your work done. Your is the keyword there. Youre in the office to take care of your tasks and responsibilities- not necessarily everybody elses.Now, theres nothing wrong with being helpful, and you never want to be the person who belligerently shouts, Thats not my job all over the office. However, you need to remember that your own work comes first- no matter how selfish that seems. You shouldnt push your own to-dos to the backburner in favor of helping someone else out. So, sit down and determine where your responsibilities end and another persons start. You likely already have a good handle on this (and have just been ignoring your own hesitations), but go ahead and ask your supervisor if youre confused on whether or not something is truly your piece of the puzzle. This will not only help you in prioritizing your to-do list ahead of everyone elses, but will also allow you to determine if you even have the bandwidth t o help with additional projects. 2. Speak UpYes, this is the tough part- especially if youve established a reputation in your workplace as a timid easy mark whos eager to please. But, if you truly want to change your experience, then you need to first change your behavior.How do you do this? Start small by providing your opinion in a team meeting, particularly if you think you have a suggestion for an area or responsibility where someone else in your department could really shine. It gets that load off your plate in a constructive and complementary way. And, by all means, take credit for your own work. If you put in the time and effort, you deserve some recognition. That doesnt make you arrogant or greedy- it makes you human.Finally, the most important point Learn to say no. I know that this can seem unnatural and uncomfortable if youve grown used to being a yes person. But, its a critical skill if youre going to start turning things around. As mentioned above, jotting down what res ponsibilities anliegen under your job description should help greatly with this. Itll make it easier to turn people down (and provide some solid, fallback justification)- at least until you have your own specific tasks crossed off your list. 3. Establish GuidelinesSometimes I think that team projects were invented as a tool to force one person to carry the entire load- particularly if youre the one most dedicated to getting the job done well. After all, unless someone tattles, your boss will likely never know if one employee took care of absolutely everything while the others kicked their feet up on their desks and relaxed.This is why its so important to set boundaries with your colleagues early on. Make it crystal clear who is responsible for what portion of the project, including specific tasks and deadlines. Beyond that? You should also emphasize what will happen if those requirements arent met. Explain that your team wont band together to sweep that co-workers laziness under the rug and take care of that duty yourselves in an effort to save face in front of your boss. Instead, youll share with your supervisor exactly why that portion of the project remains incomplete.Yes, it seems a little brutal and cutthroat. But, if you stick with your voreingestellt method of picking up that persons mess and carrying on, youre just right back where you started. And, that irresponsible team member will likely never change his or her ways. Of course, its important to have some understanding here. Things come up that are beyond peoples control- such as a sick day or a personal crisis. But, your team should operate with the understanding that each person is responsible for his or her individual piece, barring any serious complications. 4. Stand FirmWhen youre trying to change others perceptions of you, consistency is key. After all, youll only look weak and uncertain if you start with a firm refusal only to eventually be worn down and talked into handling someone elses wor k anyway. Even your strongest No will always mean, Well, maybe. So, once youve set these rules for yourself, its important that you make an effort to stick with them. People will begin to respect your opinions and convictions, and your final answer will finally be seen as just that- your final answer. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to be a supportive and contributing team member. In fact, I encourage it. But, everybody soon realizes that theres a pretty big difference between being nice and way too nice. You want to be viewed as a peer and an equal- not a doormat. So, use these four quick tips, and youll finally be on a level playing field with your colleagues- rather than constantly under their feet.