Oh, the meetings youll go to! A dark, new Dr. Seuss parody takes on the modern office

Oh, the meetings youll go to A dark, new Dr. Seuss parody takes on the modern officeOh, the meetings youll go to A dark, new Dr. Seuss parody takes on the modern officeFor decades, the Dr. Seuss childrens book Oh, The Places Youll Go has been used to inspire young graduates and anyone going through a transition in his or her life. But a newly released book, Oh the Meetings Youll Go To, is briningthat starry-eyed enthusiasm downto Earth in aparody of American startups, modern careers, and ambition squandered by bureaucratic bottom-lines.AuthorDr. Suits - also known as Eric Nelson- is offeringsome harsher corporate truths to millennials, in rhyme.Youll meet the worlds brightest, youll hang with the best /And now that youve met them, youll work with the restWith Zohar Lazars illustrations, the parodys protagonist is depicted as a young, suited man navigating a world ofSeuss-like animal characters set in boardrooms and cubicles. Hes a tiny David among furry Goliaths.In Dr. Suits darker fairy tale on bootstrapping success, the goal is treating your parents to dinner and making partner by thirty.If you succeed, KID, YOUll BUILD EMPIRESBut to get there, youll need tosurf through piles of work - literally, in the case of the protagonist. Under Dr. Suits retelling, millennials are smart striverswith plenty of ambition but no bosses to hear them. As our millennial protagonist wonders what to mentionin meetings, if mentioning mobile help break up the tension? no one is paying attention to him. Instead of innovating or listening to ideas, these officesareWaiting for Facebook to show somethingfun, waiting for colleagues to get their work done, waiting for growth, so the firms number one for new standing desks to make their feet numb, for surging to end so their Ubers can come. Waiting, just waiting.The book warns us that wedont want to become like those co-workers in stasis, always looking down at whats in their hands instead of at the world around them. Referringto the markers of U.S. millennial identity- Uber, Tinder, Taylor Swift- the book is specifically a parodyof the American white-collar workforce, illustrating the sweat underneath the cheery narratives of Silicon Valley startups promising the world.With dark circles under the protagonists eyes, the book capturesthe stresses and pressures placed on young workers Youll feel overworked. / (Can you die young from stress?) / Try leid to melt down- / youre such a hot mess.One arresting image of the book is the protagonist running away from downward graph arrows falling from the sky as our narrator demands Youll have to press on. / Gotta pay back investors. / Youll have to press on. / Please the board of directors.In Oh, The Places Youll Go, Dr. Seuss noted that failure was a part of the pitfalls of life. And when youre in a Slump, youre not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done, he warned. Dr. Suits protagonist is also in a slump. At one low point, hedoubts his career choices in a lonely cubicle long after everyone else has left the building.But he perseveres, he achieves Inbox Zero, and his reward, for better or worse, is more meetings. The parody is an absurd fable, but it also recognizes the absurdity within the bureaucracy of corporate offices.Soremember, graduates, dream big, youre off to great meetings.And as with every generation,the trick is to balance the work with the play. / Have fun- but invest in your 401 (k).

How to Negotiate Like a Lawyer

How to Negotiate Like a Lawyer How to Negotiate Like a Lawyer Everyprofessional should be well versed in how to negotiate. Whether youre ajunior employee making a case for a promotion, an HR professional selecting company insurance benefits, or a top executive brokering new deals, these skills will come in handy.However, few professionals have any formal education on negotiation, and strategies vary depending on circumstances. Negotiation is a competency best developed through practice, and few have more experience in that realm than lawyers, who develop the acumen on their own through years in the courtroom and at the negotiation table.Although negotiation strategies arent steadfast, experienced attorneys have developed over the years several best practices that apply across the board. Here are five tips to help you negotiate like an attorney1. Evaluate the OppositionBefore you can determine your strategy, its important to know who youre up against. Is the other festivitt aggressi ve and impatient? Do they interrupt you when youre speaking? Are their documents well-developed or self-contradictory?In the digital age, gauging your opponents strengths and weaknesses can be difficult, as its impossible to interpret body language and context clues over the phone. A good way to evaluate negotiation style is to start with a conference call. Keep it short and identify the main goals of the negotiation. Consider the technique used by the title character from the 1970s detective show Columbo. By saying, Im confused. Can you explain what you want to accomplish? you can find out how the other party responds, where theyre likely to make mistakes, and whether they show inattention to detail. Based on that evaluation, you can determine how to proceed.2. Determine Your ApproachOnce youve gathered information from the other party, you can decide how to approach the negotiation. If theyre quick to speak over you and have trouble listening, perhaps sending individual emails wil l be the most effective form of communication. If theres a peacekeeper in the group, a meeting that includes everyone can keep the one outlier in check. Decide how to communicate, and then consider whether a collaborative dialogue will work, or if you need to follow a structured agenda.Be conscious of time during the negotiation phase. If youre on a deadline, its best to avoid scheduling face-to-face meetings that require additional time to organize and attend. Phone calls and video conferences are more efficient.Still its wise to avoid becoming overly rigid. Even if youve decided on one approach, remain flexible in negotiations. In fact, the negotiation strategy or approach can differ issue by issue.3. Know More About Them Than They Know About YouLearn everything you can elend only about your client, but also about the opposition. Understand the ins and outs of their business. Who makes their decisions? How do they operate? What keeps them up at night? If you invest time on the fr ont end doing research, youll save time in the long run. By knowing the last few deals theyve closed and how theyve functioned in the past, youll have an idea of how theyre likely to work with you. Include in your research an evaluation of who has the sense of urgency. A sense of urgency puts pressure on closing a deal.Find out whats important to the opposition. Your benefit isnt always their burden, and if you can find areas that are mutually beneficial to both parties, youll have a successful negotiation.4. Throw Them a BoneOnce you know what matters most to the opposing negotiator, compare and contrast that with what matters most to you. Figureout what points youre willing to concede. If you can let go of minor issues, youll have leverage to win on the more important parts of the deal. After a successful negotiation, both parties should feel that they won on some components, even if they lost on others.5. Close the DealAs you reach the finish line, you should have a clean exit st rategy. Know your priorities, cap a dollar amount if applicable, and draw a firm bottom line, referencing the terms presented at the beginning of the deal. Check that all the key provisions have been met, confirm by email and then develop a contract that clearly defines all the components of the negotiation. Your end goal is a written confirmation of the agreement. If youve used creative solutions to reach a consensus, all parties should leave the negotiation happy.Bargaining is an important part of business. Whether its over benefits or partnerships, all professionals can negotiate like attorneys. While the rules arent hard and fast, you should always remember these three things Read everything. Trust no one. Assume nothing.Ralph Levy is an attorney with the Nashville amtsstube of Dickinson Wright, PLLC,and formally served as general counselor and corporate vice president for a national health care company. He currently focuses his practice in corporate law, estate planning, and he alth care law. Reach him at rlevydickinsonwright.com. Darlene Marsh is a member attorney in the Nashville office of Dickinson Wright, PLLC, a national law firm with offices across the United States and Canada. Herpractice is focused in commercial real estate, corporate finance, and environmental compliance. Reach her at DMarshDickinsonwright.com.

7 female CEOs on surrounding yourself with supportive women

7 female CEOs on surrounding yourself with supportive women7 female CEOs on surrounding yourself with supportive womenWhetzu sich its aworking momcreating a revolutionaryhands-free breast pump, astrong founderleading theMeToomovement, or a woman working to changeaccess to much-needed feminine products, the camaraderie and support of otzu sich females make a huge difference in the success of many amazing ideas and companies. In the new bookGirl CEO ($13) by Ronnie Cohen and Katzu sichine Ellison and illustrated by Georgia Rucker, trailblazingentrepreneursshare hard-earned advice about how they launched their illustrious careers. The anthology, geared towardtweensandteens, is packed with wisdom. Here, we share tips from the moguls featured inGirl CEOon how they assembled their girl gangs to keep them moving forward in the face ofadversity.1. Find a community that adores what you doRosanna Pansinolaunched herbei own baking show in 2011 when she was a struggling actress. Her tasty treats with a geeky spin, like Apple Pi Pie and a Super Mario star-shaped cake, helped her develop a loyal following on her YouTube channel,Nerdy Nummies. Pansinos dedicated fans were eager for more, and her 2015 bestselling cookbookThe Nerdy Nummies Cookbook($30) cemented her popularity with her 10 million (and counting) subscribers. I always believed in the YouTube community and myself, she says.2.Give backWhen fashion designer konservativer Burch first launched her company, she believed in what she was doing but was often told that no one would buy online. She writes in theGirl CEOforeword that she kept making phone calls and sharing her ideas. I assembled a team of amazing people who could help me turn my concept into a collection, and we all worked incredibly hard, says Burch, founder ofTory Burch Foundationand chairman, CEO, and designer ofTory Burch. Launching her namesake foundation to empowerfemale entrepreneursis her way of giving back to the strong squad that surrounded her in the early days.3. Find partners who support your strengths and weaknessesActress Jessica Alba is well known for launchingThe Honest Company, but the start was full of obstacles and investors were skeptical. Alba didnt have a business or chemistry background to develop the natural home products she wanted to create, so she turned to experts in the field to advise her. Partner with people who are smarter than you and understand your strengths and weaknesses, and surround yourself with people who complement your strengths but could support your weaknesses, advises Alba.4. Surround yourself withdiversewomenKimberly Bryant was used to being the only black woman in her engineering and computer science engineering classes at Vanderbilt University, but years later, when she dropped off her daughter at a coding summer camp and noticed her daughter was the only student of color, she knew she had to change things. As the executive director of the nonprofitBlack Girls Code, Bryant says, You hav e to have women and people of color at the table, or you wont be able to create products that reach audiences in a way that theyll want to use them on a daily basis.5. Support other women in theirgoalsIf youve achieved success in your chosen field, look for ways to support women who aspire to be in the same career. Acclaimed actress Reese Witherspoon foundedHello Sunshine, a media brand dedicated to celebrating womens stories. Im using everything Ive learned along the way and my own money and celebrity collateral - whatever that is - and I will stand next to anyone I believe in that deserves a different opportunity, Witherspoon has said. Likewise, Tory Burch used her platform to ask A-list friends, like Witherspoon, to embrace the word ambitious as a positive quality in women with herEmbraceAmbition campaign.6. Talk about what you want oftenWhile studying engineering at Stanford University, a conversation with a friend about construction toys sparked Debbie Sterlings interest. As the founder and CEO ofGoldieBlox, a toy company geared toward girls, Sterling was often told that her idea wouldnt sell. The more people you talk to, the more you will find those who are inspired by what you want to do and want to be a part of it, says Sterling. That is really the key to becoming a successful entrepreneur. Instead of keeping yourdreamsto yourself, talk about it with everyone. You never know who you might meet who could be a potential ally.7.Network, network, networkThough it may be uncomfortable to network at social events if youre anintrovert, and the thought of makingsmall talkmight fill you with dread, meeting other women is a necessary part of building your crew. Mariam Naficy started her second start-up,Minted.com, by contacting her connections she had made at Stanford, which she found particularly helpful when securing investors. The network really helped me. I think it helps women a lot with tapping into fundraising because its a little bit harder to be taken seriously. A motivated woman with a network is a powerful combination, she says.This article first appeared on Brit + Co.